If you want to stop divorce, you have to convince the person what wants to divorce you to give the relationship another try. This isn’t always possible, but it’s absolutely necessary if you have a chance of stopping a divorce. A divorce can be stopped at virtually any stage—before it’s filed or just before it needs the final paperwork. The earlier you stop a divorce, the more likely it is that the divorce won’t be restarted, at least not anytime soon.
So to stop a divorce, you must convince the person to give the relationship another chance. If you have been begging the other person to give you another try or pleading for them to get back together with you, stop now. This might seem counterproductive, as if now that the person has less resistance it will make it easier for them to divorce you. But your pleading probably wasn’t doing anything but convincing them that divorce is a good idea anyway. Who wants to be around someone who is behaving that way?
If you can start acting more mature and behave in a more pleasant manner, it might surprise the other person and help stop divorce. Explain that you really don’t want the divorce and you want another chance in a calm way. The person already knows this so you screaming or carrying on won’t help your chances. Just make it clear that you’re hurt and very sad, and you really want another chance. You might be surprised how the other person reacts when you change your behavior.
You can also show a mature side of yourself that the other person might not have seen over the last several weeks and suggest marital or couples counseling to stop divorce. Counseling has worked for million of couples and your relationship could benefit from it, too. If you can get the other person to agree to couples counseling, then you have precious time before they file for or attempt to finalize a divorce to convince them to give you and the relationship another chance.
During counseling you’ll have the opportunity to show the person why they fell in love with you. You can remind them why you’re together in the first place. And if you can show honest effort in wanting to deal with the problems that come up during the counseling—and many probably will—that might be enough to convince the other person not only to stop divorce temporarily, but permanently.
When you succeed and stop divorce, you must remember that the person was about to divorce you and it would be easy enough for them to change his or her mind and file for divorce later. Having already thought about divorce and maybe even having gone far enough as to file for divorce at one time makes the decision to file again easier. So be aware of the state of your relationship, and perhaps continue counseling. It’s easier to stop divorce temporarily than to have a good relationship for the long term.
Learn the steps to get your love back and rekindle your relationship once again.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
how can you get an ex boyfriend back
If you have an ex boyfriend to get back, you might have already tried several things to get him to come back to you. You might have begged, pleaded, promised to change your ways, and even gone so far as to break up a new relationship he might be having. It’s important to remember at all times how you appear to him. It’s going to be hard to get him back if you look childish or scheming.
Try to think of any behaviors like that you’ve displayed since you broke up, and stop them now. Whatever you’ve been doing obviously isn’t working or you’d be back together already. If you’ve been following him around and showing up everywhere he appears out with friends or on a date, your behavior probably seems more like that of a stalker than someone who loves him. When you have an ex boyfriend to get back, things you’re doing to convince him to be with you might be the things that are keeping him away.
Next time you end up in the same place together, whether it’s a restaurant or a club, when you walk in and see him, do acknowledge him. But instead of going up to him and demanding his attention as you might have done before, simply say hello and go about your business in another part of the room, or explain that since he’s there, you’ll leave to make him more comfortable. Be nice and polite and simply go. If nothing else, the change in your behavior will get him thinking.
When you have an ex boyfriend to get back, doing what isn’t expected is important if you’ve been trying unsuccessfully for a while. If you’ve been calling him 10 times a day, or even 3, stop. Call when you really need something, not just to rehash why he should take you back. If you don’t have reason to call, then simply don’t call. After a week or so, give him a call just to say hello and that you were thinking about him. Ask if he’s doing all right, and a few simple questions like that.
If he starts to sound suspicious wanting to know why you really called and acting as if all this niceness is just a prelude to your usual behavior, just assure him you called because you missed him and wanted to check in on him. Then say goodbye and end the call on a good note. When you have an ex boyfriend to get back, you want him to wonder at the end of such a conversation. He’ll wonder why you didn’t beg or plead as usual, and what’s going on.
If you’re less comfortable with calling for such a thing, mail him a card that simply says you’re thinking about him. It’s important to give him the chance to make a move. When you have an ex boyfriend to get back, you can’t smother him with attention and affection but instead let him come after you.
Try to think of any behaviors like that you’ve displayed since you broke up, and stop them now. Whatever you’ve been doing obviously isn’t working or you’d be back together already. If you’ve been following him around and showing up everywhere he appears out with friends or on a date, your behavior probably seems more like that of a stalker than someone who loves him. When you have an ex boyfriend to get back, things you’re doing to convince him to be with you might be the things that are keeping him away.
Next time you end up in the same place together, whether it’s a restaurant or a club, when you walk in and see him, do acknowledge him. But instead of going up to him and demanding his attention as you might have done before, simply say hello and go about your business in another part of the room, or explain that since he’s there, you’ll leave to make him more comfortable. Be nice and polite and simply go. If nothing else, the change in your behavior will get him thinking.
When you have an ex boyfriend to get back, doing what isn’t expected is important if you’ve been trying unsuccessfully for a while. If you’ve been calling him 10 times a day, or even 3, stop. Call when you really need something, not just to rehash why he should take you back. If you don’t have reason to call, then simply don’t call. After a week or so, give him a call just to say hello and that you were thinking about him. Ask if he’s doing all right, and a few simple questions like that.
If he starts to sound suspicious wanting to know why you really called and acting as if all this niceness is just a prelude to your usual behavior, just assure him you called because you missed him and wanted to check in on him. Then say goodbye and end the call on a good note. When you have an ex boyfriend to get back, you want him to wonder at the end of such a conversation. He’ll wonder why you didn’t beg or plead as usual, and what’s going on.
If you’re less comfortable with calling for such a thing, mail him a card that simply says you’re thinking about him. It’s important to give him the chance to make a move. When you have an ex boyfriend to get back, you can’t smother him with attention and affection but instead let him come after you.
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